Back in the days, I enjoyed most Steven Seagal movies that came out. They were fun action flicks, with plots that didn't vary too much from the other movies in the genre, but which had enough exciting action scenes and dry wit from Seagal to stand out from the pack. For some reason, Seagal has drifted into 'shitty, straight to DVD movie' territory recently, and I had not seen any of post Exit Wounds-pictures since the plots screamed "we have seen this twenty times before, but let's do it one more time anyway cause we might make some cash with it". But even though my expectations were low, I could not have expected Submerged to be this horrible.
In Submerged, Seagal plays the world's best mercenary. He was thrown in prison after a mission went wrong, but has now been freed under one condition: he must use his men and his fighting skills to stop some terrorists who have taken over a nuclear submarine. So, you think, this will be like Under Siege: Under Water, with a lot of kick ass fighting and intense action scenes, right? But no. The submarine in question is only in the picture for about twenty minutes, and then is blown up so we can concentrate once again on the ludicrous 'real' main plot of this movie, which centers on a company inventing a mind control device they want to use to kill the president of Uruguay. At least, I think that was the plot, but this movie is such a mess, trying to move it's story intelligently but failing miserably, that it's no surprise Steven Seagal looks like he doesn't give a shit either. He does speak with an accent for the duration of the pic, but I have no idea where the accent is supposed to come from, and in several parts of the movie he even forgets using it altogether.
It's not often that I hate a movie as much as this one. Yes, I expected it to be bad, but couldn't it at least have sucked in an amusing way? If I would have counted all the cliches used in this movie I would have had to count probably every scene, and most of the actors in this movie overact as if their life depends on it. Take this insulting piece of crap away from me, and give me back those 90 minutes from my life that it stole!
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